The People v. Badger

Charge sheet

1. Count 1
   Aiding and abetting the theft of poultry — as an accessory

   The defendant, a figure of considerable local standing, joined the tunneling operation at the precise point where it reached Boggis’s Chicken House Number One, and thereafter carried stolen goods with both hands. The court notes that respectability is not a defense. It is an aggravating factor.

   • Exhibit A

     "Doesn’t this worry you just a tiny bit, Foxy?"

     The defendant asks whether the burglary he is presently committing is wrong. He is, at the time of asking, still digging.

   Cross-reference: all convictions for this charge →

2. Count 2
   Expressing ethical reservations while continuing to dig

   Midway through the operation, the defendant paused to wonder aloud whether stealing was, strictly speaking, right. Having received an answer he found agreeable, he resumed at once. The court commends the defendant’s conscience on its punctuality, and on its brevity.

   Cross-reference: all convictions for this charge →

For the defense

Overruled.

Sentence of the court

127 days community service. Entered 7 August 2026. The defendant is expected to complete 127 days of service on 12 December 2026. Appeals are heard in the comments — see below.

Known associates

• Mr. Fox · TRV-001